I can't say I much liked my entry in the Clarity of the Night competition, so keeping the competition's prompt, a glass of red wine, in mind, I thought I'd try it again, but a little less restricted by the 250 word count. I also thought I'd try something I don't usually do - set the story within my own environment.

In Times of Drought
Obsidian clouds rolled over the granite teeth of the Drakenstein peaks. Below the mountains the air brooded, pregnant with expectation. Rain spat on the earth in drops the size of quail eggs. The earth savoured each sip.
Andre Van Vuuren peered from the window of the farmhouse, swirled the wine in his glass lifting it to his nose to drink in the berried aroma. It had been a good vintage. The farm had profited well from the cultivar.
The room brightened as lightning sabers flashed between the clouds. Andre counted, waiting for the distant drum-roll of thunder to echo between the peaks.
He turned from the window and gazed at the room. Bereft of the history of his forefathers, its skeletal form clung to him. Generations of antiquities sold for whatever old Du Plessis down at the auction house could get for them. His eyes shimmered as he remembered his great-grandmother’s camphorwood kist. It had been a wedding gift to her from her grandmother, crafted by Jacobus de Wet soon after he’d arrived from Holland. He wondered who loved it now.
He pushed open the back door, letting the fly screen rattle back against the frame.
Wagter looked up at him, thumped his tail twice on the red-washed concrete of the stoep.
“Ja, old friend,” murmured Andre, bending to pat the dog’s grizzled head.
Together they sniffed the air. The rain was up there, somewhere in those grumbling clouds, but would it bless the land with its tears?
For ten years the clouds had taunted him, making promises they never kept. Rain would splatter to the earth and he would hold his breath – only to feel disappointment seep through his bones.
Why should this year be any different?
Andre stared across the golden gravel of the road to his vineyards.
The vines withered as he watched them, clinging to their supports with gnarled fingers. Soldiers on the cross, dying of thirst.
The phone trilled in his pocket. He glanced at the number and sighed.
“Hello,” he said.
“Andre, it’s Pieter. Listen, man, I’m really sorry but…”
“Ja, I know…”
He’d been expecting the call for months. It was only his friendship with his bank manager that had delayed the inevitable.
“I’m sorry, man, really I am. Come in tomorrow, we can talk about your options.”
“Ja, sure.”
He dropped the phone into his pocket.
Options. A small flat on the edge of town.
He walked back into the house as the thunder crashed above him.
Words from the old anthem echoed in his head… over our everlasting mountains where the echoing crags resound… They were words that now lay buried deep within the new anthem.
He picked up his wine glass, slung the gun over his shoulder and crossing the rose garden, walked into his vineyards. The soil, once sated with the sweat of his forefathers, clutched at his boots.
Earth to earth, he thought to himself.
He let the wine slide down his throat, relishing its chocolate and berry flavour.
The shot rang across the valley as the heavens opened and wept upon the earth, melding its moisture with scatttered drops of Pinot Noir - and the warmth of Andre Van Vuuren's blood.









12 comments:
Gosh Nicky,
That was lovely. Incredibly interesting to me in that it had an exotic feeling the setting being S.A.Your descriptions are so vivid I could picture it all.
I think the sign of a great writer is one that makes you wish you could do that too. And I defintely do! Oh, and of course, I'd like to read more...
☺ (cool pics)
Awesome!!!!!
Fantastic story... I was just sorry he didn't take his old dog with him.
xx
harsh... but a man has to do as he sees fit, sadly
very well done, nicky....
Thanks, Lori, they do always say to write what you know about but I've always found it very difficult to set any of my stories in SA.
Thanks, Gail!
Thanks, FireByrd - I did think about having him take the old dog with him, but decided it added more of a bittersweet tragedy for him to leave him behind - and might also make the reader wonder more about the character of the man.
Thanks, Wolf - it's a story you often hear in hard times and I really wanted to try and convey some of the sense of loss - and resignation - that he must have felt.
you succeeded, admirably :)
We have rules to obey, don't we?
Thanks, Wolf! :-)
Ropi - to quote Oscar Wilde:
"Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men."
i like this a lot, its full of sensation and feeling- but in a sort of understated way
I do not agree with this guy. Let's examine the Thales' Rule. If you draw a diameter in a circle and you take an arbitrary point on the line of the circle you get a right angled triangle whether you are a fool or wise. Rules are to be kept no matter who you are.
Nicky, this is a great story, so very different from the one in the contest, yet equally brilliant. I loved it, despite its sadness, and, like for Lori Ann, it brought me an exoticness that only enhanced my pleasure of reading it. You are a great writer!
Thanks, Lettuce
Nah, I beg to disagree, Ropi but it would make for a far longer debate than we could enter into here to give you my reasoning - but let's just say much of it is based on years and experience.
Thanks so much, Vesper!
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