Thursday, October 11, 2007

Lee-Ann's Story


She comes from a one horse town in the middle of nowhere. It is a place that has stood still in time. The land is arid and harsh. Dust sweeps along the roads of the village and billows through the broken windows of the magistrate’s court. The people are narrow, closed and hard. Her family owns the town. Her grandfather is the commandant.
She is ten years old and has been sexually abused by her uncle. No one listens to her cries. No one hears her words. Her pain and agony are invisible to them. They must be. They do not want to know. It is something they cannot admit to. Their ears are closed to all that may amount to a scandal. They protect their own. Yet they sacrifice their own too. They tell her she is wrong. They say her uncle is a wonderful man. They tell her she must listen to Grandfather for he knows best. Nothing happened to her, they say. She imagined it all, like a bad dream. Her grandma bakes her rusks – hard, dry, tasteless things – but she believes they are delicious. She agrees all must be well, for they say so.
She buries her pain, turns it inward, lets it fester in a place where she can never digest it. She endures life. Her step-father molests her continually. She says, he loved me, he gave me far more than fatherly love. He was kind to me…
#
She is twenty, her name is Lee-Ann and she comes to the city to study. She is a silent, withdrawn girl, painfully thin. She asks if she may stay with an aunt and uncle. They take her in and immediately sense something is amiss. She is anorexic, she is wasting away. The ache within her is desperate to be released. Safe, for the first time in her life, it bubbles out of her. Her aunt and uncle book her into a clinic. She is counseled, she is given love and safety. Her story pours from her in a torrent of agony, finally able to find release.
She returns to the home of her aunt and uncle. She receives weekly counseling. She gains a little weight. She is given special meals, she is nurtured. She begins to enjoy life. She laughs, she dances, she smiles. Her aunt helps her with her homework. She learns. She is beautiful and she is safe within this loving and protected environment. She starts the long journey of healing.
It is good, says her psychiatrist, if she doesn’t make this shift now she will be dead in two years. Keep supporting her.
Her aunt and uncle, only too willing to reach out and help this shattered waif, give her everything they are able to. They give her a wonderful 21st birthday party, they buy her tickets to a WWE event, they buy her new clothes and continue to support her in every way they can. They want her to be whole.
Her mother comes to visit. There is no interaction between mother and child – she does not enquire after her daughter’s well being – it is as though her daughter does not exist, as though the world begins and ends with the mother and her fitness regime. She talks about how sore her hips are – from an excess of training. She exercises everyday, sometimes all day. She trains hard, as though she is chasing away demons. She is. She tells her sister-in-law how she too was abused. But she is worried, the family secret is out… She returns home.
Lee-Ann’s aunt is called away to the UK on family business. Will she be okay staying with her uncle? Would she prefer to stay with her uncle’s sister, they ask her? No, she says, she is safe here. She will look after her uncle and they will have a fine time together.
In the dusty arid town in the middle of nowhere there is a family crisis. Those people, far away in the city, they know about Lee-Ann’s abuse. What is worse, they believe her. They will talk. Others will know. This could rock the family - destroy their hold on their one horse town. The family with its connections in police and army swing into action. Small minds think small, no further than the end of their own nose.
The police arrive at the home of Lee-Ann’s aunt and uncle. They’ve had reports, they say, that he is holding the girl hostage. Her uncle is appalled. He denies the accusation, points to her bedroom, invites them to speak to her. They tell her they’ve come to take her away, because they know she is in danger here. They ask her if there’s anything she wants to say. She turns to her uncle and tells him she appreciates how much he and her aunt have done for her. How much it means to her and she turns away. Her uncle is told not to touch her clothes or any of her things – it is all evidence. He is devastated.
She is returned to her family in the middle of nowhere, thrown back to the lions in their den. Only lions would have more honour, show more protection of their young.
Her uncle tries to make sense of what has happened but he’s not given a chance. He receives word that a court interdict has been sought to prevent him from seeing his niece ever again. It is claimed that he has been abusing her. He is gutted.
His wife returns. They speak to their lawyers and drive hundreds of miles through barren nothingness to the place that is nowhere.
The villagers stare at them, these city folk in their smart clothes. They are a threat. The police eyeball them, bellow instructions at them. They are strangers in a surreal show. They are made to wait, to sit quietly and watch the dust gather as it drifts through the paneless windows of the magistrate’s court.
Lee-Ann’s uncle is called before the prosecutor. He is grilled, given the third-degree. He states the facts of the matter. Explains the history, provides affidavits. The prosecutor, doing her job, doesn’t believe him. He persists, answers the same questions over and over again. Lee-Ann enters the court room. She has lost weight. She is pale, her beauty fading.
“Has this man ever harmed you?” the prosecutor asks.
“No,” she whispers staring at her feet.
“Has he threatened you ever?”
“No,” she murmurs.
“Did you ever feel unsafe with him?”
“No.”
“Was he unkind to you?”
“No.”
“Then why are you seeking an interdict against him?”
“Because I must,” she whispers, a wild look flickering in her eyes. “I have to.”
The family has drawn together. Their reputation will be upheld. Lee Ann will do as she is instructed. She may not think for herself. It has been forbidden. The dreadful secret will not be revealed. The rot will stop – it will be erased from existence as though it never existed. Lee Ann will be the sacrificial lamb, offered up to protect the reputation of a family that is twisted and corrupt. Her life has no value. Her pain counts for nothing. Her silence is everything. It is likely she will be dead in less than two years.


This is a true story – Lee-Ann’s aunt told me about it yesterday. I don’t know Lee-Ann, I barely know her aunt, but she needed to tell her story. And I, my heart aching and overwhelmed by human injustice and cruelty have to tell it to you so that we know and remember who and what we are and what we do to our children. Lee Ann and her uncle have jointly signed a document saying that neither will ever contact the other again. Her one lifeline has been cut off from her. The people who could have helped her to heal have been forcibly removed from her life. Her psychiatrist has said it is very likely she will not survive. This is child abuse. This is human sacrifice. This is the insanity of the world in which we live – for events like these happen everyday and everywhere. This is in the nature of our humanity. This is Lee-Ann’s story and the story of thousands of other children like her. And their stories must be told, for the rot must stop.


It is Phoktober and I've chosen the two images above as symbolic of Lee-Ann's story - the first with the light and the shadow on either side of a newly opened white daisy, the second showing the bugs destroying the heart of a white daisy.

17 comments:

colleen said...

This is so utterly devastating. I can hardly bear the injustice of it. So sad.

Rambler said...

I cant understand how people can be so cruel towards children, and sexually abuse your own daughter, how sad is that.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

You know, Colleen, I sit here and wonder, as I tell her story, what difference can I make, how can I help stop this, not just for Lee-Ann, but for so many others like her.

Cruelty towards children is unimaginable, isn't it, Rambler and yet it happens all too often. It is tragic beyond measure.

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

I am sick. How absolutely horrible. My heart aches for those victims who do not have the strength to escape their prisons.

Perhaps she will find it before she dies.

Scarlett & V.

Baino said...

In a slightly different scenario I have friends whose adopted daughter falsely claimed abuse. She had been abused by an orphanage employee as a small child but out of fear accused her own father. It was just as devastating for the parents who eventually lost the children to social services only to receive a written 'apology' when the investigation was over. 10 years later, they are finally rebuilding their relationship. The child has come clean and contact has been made. Who knows, if she can retain her health, maybe Leanne will rekindle the healing relationship with her aunt and uncle. A very sad tale retold AV

Bonnie Jacobs said...

What a powerful story! Yes, you must share it, and I thank you for it. Education, in my opinion, is the way to start change; stories that outrage us make us sit up and take notice. This one makes us feel helpless because those in power are controlling those without power.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

It is horrible, Scarlett and the travesty is that it happens far more often and all over the place than we'd like to think. When one starts to research child abuse and read books by people like Alice Miller one realises just how prevalent child abuse is.
I too hope the Lee-Ann will find her peace, if not in this life, then beyond.

Yeah, Baino, I think what you describe happens quite a lot, it's a way of playing out the truth, it's a defense/release mechanism which is hard to understand but which the child uses because there is no other way for her/him to interact. In Lee-Ann's case from what I can gather, she was coerced into doing it by her family. I think if it had been her own choice, she wouldn't have ended up telling the truth to the prosecutor. Her aunt and uncle needless to say feel very betrayed, but as I said to her aunt, it's Lee Ann who is the real victim.

Thanks, Bonnie - the only way we can even begin to change the world is by speaking out about the things that are wrong and making people sit up and take notice.

It's been interesting to note that although this post has had plenty of hits, there've been very few comments and I suspect that's because, as you say, stories like this make people feel fundamentally helpless and disempowered. It is so much easier for us to focus on the laughter and joy, but so very much harder to accept the more brutish and ignorant aspects of our humanity.

Thanks for your support!

Pisces Iscariot said...

A horrific story powerfully told. - I can just imagine the kind of town Lee-Anne comes from -the kind of town that allows no pleasure but that which is stolen from its innocents; the kind of town where it is illegal to go swimming or to wash your car on a sunday.

kimy said...

it is just so horrible to know that lee-ann's story is played over and over again all over the place. but, these stories must be told. the injustices and cruelties toward children must end. the cycle must must be broken. thanks for doing your part in helping

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Yes, Pisces, you've pictured the town just right. You know the ones - where the old guard still rules despite a change in government, just as it always did, a law unto itself.

You're right, Kimy, these stories have to be told or the atrocities will never stop.

Matthew said...

I'm glad you've told Lee-Ann's story because we all do need the reminder that this abuse continues. As humans we feel compelled to look and then look away.

I have loved ones who have suffered childhood abuse and the after-effects never go away.

Your pictures are fitting bookends.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

I'm so sorry for your loved ones, Matthew, the scars are carried forever and the only way to stop this heinous stuff from happening is to speak out about it so that we are all aware of what happens and what we're dealing with.

Shameless said...

Very moving story. Thank you for giving a voice to this.

Verilion said...

The most devastating part of this story is that you keep thinking there MUST be something that can be done to help this poor girl. I don't want to believe that humanity is so cruel, but it sure has its priorities messed up.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Thanks, Shameless - stories like these need to be given voice if we are ever to stop this kind of insanity.

Yes, you are absolutely right, V - and the only way I could think of, given I don't know her, not even her surname, is to write her story. What I really hope is that the prosecutor of the little village who does now know the story will be able to do something for her. But in towns like these where a family "owns" the town and half the people in it, standing up to such a family becomes more than one's life is worth for some people. Bear in mind it's an army and police town, so these are people not above using force and violence...

mystic rose said...

heart wrenching.

hard to belive there are such monsters among humna beings, but there are. and what can be done?


ps: your article is absolutely amazing, in view of a writer.. perfect pace, focus and more important impassioned.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

I return time and again, Mystic Rose to those words of Ghandi - that we must be the change that we wish to see in the world. We start with ourselves and hope that we, in our own small way, can impact upon the collective consciousness, much like a small pebble tossed in a pond.

And thank you for your kinds words about my writing - I think the best writing always comes when we feel passionately about our subject.