He’s been watching me for months. I know he’s there, just beyond the edge of my vision, standing on a vast open plain, poised, immobile. It is hard to see him, the sky is dark, low and he rises into it. Each day as I weaken he comes a little closer. His eyes on me. Waiting. The silent observer. I grow used to him, I call him David. Yet his constant presence unnerves me.
I know why he is there but I don’t know why he waits. I am uneasy and fear and foreboding shiver in ever widening tingles up my spine, clamp to my head, bend me. I am afraid of what he is, of what he brings - of where he wants to take me. I am paralysed by my fear. I don’t like it - and I resent being afraid.
I remember what I’ve always told myself. Face your fear – it will shrink, become insignificant.
So I turn to him. Take him by surprise.
“I know you’re there. We both know why you’re here. Come on then, get on with it.”
He faces me. He is beautiful - unexpectedly so. And gentle. His face is still and serene. Dark eyelashes curve above black eyes, a fringe of lustrous hair flops over his brow. He is ageless. Always has been. Tall, broad-shouldered, collected, at ease. He smiles. A slow smile and behind him the plain lights up.
This is not what I expected.
I move towards him, curious. He takes my hand.
“Shall we go now?” I ask.
He smiles. He never speaks. He doesn’t need words. He is beyond them. I know this.
Instead his thoughts filter into my mind.
“Then why are you here?”
“You intrigue me. Not many watch me as you do. Few reach out to me as you have done. Most are afraid of me.”
Yes, most are... But he isn’t frightening. Whatever he brings… it isn’t fear. He comes with peace – and tranquility.
“Can I go with you?” I ask unable to wrest my eyes from his. Deep, languid pools in which I am drowning…
He smiles. “No.”
He holds me to him. It is the very embrace I thought I would always fear, the one I should run from. But I am not afraid. I have no desire to run. Instead I want to stay enfolded in his arms forever. I am falling in love with him. I am dancing with him...comforted and easy in his embrace… I want it to last forever - want to stay with him. I crave this peaceful end, which he will not let come. Not now. Not tonight.
He turns away, his eyes soft and smiling still. He steps back from me, walks away, receding into the vastness of the plain until he is there yet not there. I stand and watch him, my heart torn. I should be glad but instead, I am sad. But I know… He will always be watching me and one day I will dance with David for eternity.