Sunday, July 15, 2007
The Door Home...?
My life force was ebbing away - ebbing, seeping from me as though something had pulled my plug and I was emptying myself of that which kept me alive.
Fear sprang through the darkness - clutched at me, strangling me with terror.
I wanted to push it away... but I was devoid of strength.
There was no choice... but to accept. I was dying.
And in that moment of acceptance came clarity and peace.
The absolute nothingness of the dark lightened just a little... to a twilight... dim, filtered light, grey, watchful...
I was standing on a giant chess board... rough stone, cracked and worn beneath my feet. To my right, a towering stone wall - a fortress perhaps. To my left, the black silhouettes of spiring firs - marching up an infinite peak. Behind me... I don't know. Life, I suppose.
And ahead of me... A vast door set within another wall of stone.
I stood in the monochromatic gloom, looking, without comprehension... wondering...
Where was I?
I could not go back, could not even turn around to see from whence I'd come. The forest was forbidding, though the trees were strangely observant, almost protective. They seemed to represent some aspect of the life I was leaving behind.
I faced the door and advanced. It was what I was meant to do. Intuitively, I knew that.
The door swung open - just a fraction.
Light spilled out. White-golden luminance... shining so brightly I could hardly bear to look at it. But I wanted it. Oh yes, I wanted that light. I knew what it was. It was home.
The door - the portal between worlds.
The door opened further and I moved closer to it, reaching out with my innermost core to the brilliance that flooded through it.
They talk of the white light when they talk of near death experiences, don't they...? So... this was it... only there was no tunnel, just the chess board... the remnant of the game of life...
The fear left me. I surrendered. I wasn't losing my life. I was returning to it. Returning to the soul pool. Returning to the source of all created things. Oh yes. I wanted to go home. Please. Let me come home. My life force, the very last drops of it, trickled away... Calm descended upon me... total tranquility...
I... was... going... home...
A jolt surged through me. Then another. And another.
The life force pulsed into my being. The doorway began to close. No!
Not yet. Not my time. Not now...
I felt sensation return to my limbs.
I held the light in my heart, in my mind's eye - and slept.
What is death, after all, the beginning or the end? We've made it into something it's not - or have we? Which is the illusion... death? Or life?
(Both images used in this post were duly nicked off the internet and I am grateful that they serve my words so well - to the creators, whoever you are, thank you.)