Saturday, July 14, 2007

And I look like... and you look like?

Have you ever wondered what your fellow bloggers look like? Those who don't have pictures of themselves on their blogs

Two instances now have left me seriously questioning the images I form in my head of people I've not met in person.

I've never met the Significant Other's (SO) ex-wife - she lives on the other side of the country and besides, does want really want to dabble in one's SO's previous life - I think not. Nonetheless, I'd formed an image of the lady in question in my head... Wavy, shoulder length mid-brown hair, gentle heart-shaped face, pale freckles, petite... Got that wrong. Long, straight, dark-brown hair, sharp features, oval face, no freckles - nothing at all like what I'd envisaged.

Then a couple of days ago I saw some photos of Caroline on her site. I was convinced I must be at the wrong blog. See, I'd pictured Caroline as tall, blonde, willowy. Got that wrong, didn't I?

Mind you, I will say this, I did have an image of Barbara in my head that was pretty spot on. I feel marginally relieved about that. Though I will, shamefacedly confess, that I had her pitched about ten years older. Erm, sorry, Barbara.

Given that I know many have previously envisaged me completely incorrectly, I'm wondering, for a bit of a laugh, how you might see me. And okay, let's get this straight right at the outset. I am not yellow. I do not have feathers. Well, not often, anyway.

I'm the one with yellow feathers and there's nothing wrong with that!
I never said there was. And anyway, they know what you look like. Your picture's in the side bar.
Does this mean I can't play?
No. It's my blog.
Yeah, but I run things around here.
No, you don't!
Oh yes I do! Wanna fight about it?
Erm...er... those talons you're flexing are pretty sharp....
Uhuh...

Sigh, the things one has to tolerate with an alien chicken looking over one's shoulder.


I heard that! Ba-kaaaaaaak! So anyway, given that you know what I look like, whaddayathink she looks like? Huh?



?

And just in case you've really got it badly wrong, here are some clues....



Ba-kaaaaak! How did Brad get in there...? Perhaps Vanilla's a boy... I'd better take a closer look... EEEEEEEEK!!!

Hmm, yes, well.... And by the way, which celebrities do you look like?

(Apparently I also look like... Salma Hayek, Keirah Knightley, Karolina Kurkova, Jordana Brewster, Marie Bowes Lyon, Sophie Marceau. God, I must be drop dead gorgeous! Ha, ha, ha)

Ha, ha, ha is right. If anyone around here is drop dead gorgeous it is I, Atyllah the Hen, Chicken with Attitude! Ba-kaaaak!



(And a grateful thank you to the creators of Fozzie Bear and Miss Piggy - however else would I have been able to find such tasty images with which to decorate my blog )

28 comments:

Brianf said...

I have no clue. I'm not sure if you're young or old, short or tall, fat or skinny, black, white, red, brown or anything in-between any of those descriptions.
Your writing is brilliant and always brings a smile to my face. That's enough for me. Yes, Atyllah too!

Absolute Vanilla... (& Atyllah) said...

Thank you, Brianf.

And the Chicken says, "Yah! You're just chicken! Actually she's a gnome and sports a beard, she doesn't really look anything like Brad Pitt!"
;-)

Jon M said...

I always thought you were a rather nattily patterned cup with vanilla sticks in it?

How do you do a picture at the side? I'm rubbish at things like that and would like to be better.

Absolute Vanilla... (& Atyllah) said...

Vanilla pods, dear Jon, pods, not sticks. Tsk.
;-)
I dunno, how do you take a picture at the side? Is it a trick question? Perhaps you to lie on your side first...?
;-)

Bonnie Jacobs said...

First off, you are not too tall, not too short, but just right, with your legs reaching all the way to the ground. You are probably female ... the odds are with me on that one, with Brad Pitt the odd one out. Unless your smile is like his? You are brunette ... or not. You have brown eyes ... or blue or green or gray or hazel. Not being as old as I am, you are a mere child to me. And the one thing I know for sure, for sure ... you have a sense of humor. So humor me, how'm I doing?

Rambler said...

@Vanilla,
ITs been really short time that I have read your blog for, to be precise 2 days, so my picture of you might be totally wrong
I guess you are medium height, kind of may be shortsleeved long jersy wearing kind :), very less accessories, a little grin on the face types
lol, please dont crusify me, I am sure I Will be wrong :)

Absolute Vanilla... (& Atyllah) said...

LOL! Doing good, Bonnie, doing good!
Hmm, no, don't look too much like Brad Pitt, might have the smile though...
Brunette, mmm, makes a nice change, most go for blonde. Eyes, yep, I've got them. Legs, got 'em too, two of them, go all the way to the ground.
On age, however, you might just be wrong...
;-)

Absolute Vanilla... (& Atyllah) said...

Hey, Rambler, given I'm always cold there's a lot of jersey wearing that goes on... Medium height, hmm, you could probably say so... Accessories... rings on her fingers but no bells on her toes... :-)

Bonnie Jacobs said...

Well, Vanilla, my dear, let's see if you can top 67. If you are a day younger, then you are a mere child to me.
;)

Minx said...

When I eventually put up a picture of me on the blog no one believed me! I think they were expecting a furry rodent type.
Can we ever really match up the person to the writing voice. So many have surprised me. It is intriguing though - oh go on, give us a clue.

Absolute Vanilla... (& Atyllah) said...

Furry rodent type, Minx? Hmm, no, I can't say I saw you quite like that...
As for me, we-ell, I thought the celebrity lookalikes would have given sufficient of a clue.
;-) (Of course it is a bit worrying that the site also said I looked like Mikhail Baryshnikov and Vladimir Putin... Perhaps it's the tendency to high cheekbones and Slavic leanings... (Ah, köszönöm, great-gran'ma).
What I can say is this, I ain't blonde - despite what some of my online writers' group pals have thought.

Bonnie - how about 5784... but then I am counting all my previous lives... ;-)

Jon M said...

No! I meant like the picture at the side of your comment! How do you get that oh, poddish one?! :-)

Absolute Vanilla... (& Atyllah) said...

You need to go to "Settings" on your dashboard, Oh Master of the Gore Hounds. Select the "comments" tab. Scroll down to where it says "Show profile Images on Comments" and select "yes". I think that should do it. Of course, you can lie sideways while you're doing that...
;-)

Marie said...

You must be gorgeous! I did this a while back (it's on my blog somewhere) and I don't think I look like any of the people it came up with.

Absolute Vanilla... (& Atyllah) said...

Thanks, Marie, unusual, rather than gorgeous probably sums it up better though :-) Slavic, rather than traditionally "western".

colleen said...

Well at least I know your female now.

One of the reasons I like blogging is because we can often drop those first impressions that come with looks, at least for the ones who don't post photos. A part of me always wants to know, but another part of me doesn't because then I have to say goodbye to my imaginings, like when a book ends and the character you created in your mind is gone.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Ah, but Colleen - you only know I'm female, because I say so... isn't that just the damnable thing about cyberspace? :-)

You know what I hate about movies from books - in my head I always know exactly what the character looks like and then along comes the movie and shatters my imaginings. Guess it's the same in blogosphere.

Andres Carl Sena said...

I envision sharp features and keen eyes.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Gong! Gotta strike you out on both counts ACS! :-)

Dewey said...

The way you imagined your SO's ex to look is a very accurate description of ME! Ha ha!

I don't put up photos because I don't want people from work running into my blog somehow and seeing my face there and read without my knowing! I don't think I write anything that my bosses would object to, but still!

Sometimes, and this happens to me a lot for some reason, I even get a blogger's gender wrong. Especially if they have a neutral name like Chris or Alex.

c.s. said...

i'm pretty sure you are one pretty being if those celebrity pics are to be counted on. :)

Your Highness, please be a little nice to Vanilla. :)

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Well then, Dewey, you must be very pretty! I'm not inclined to put up photos because I'm still a firm believer that the internet is a "bad place" :-)

Why, thank you, CS - you're such a flatterer :-)
And from the Chicken's desk... "Be nice to Vanilla? Why?"

Debi said...

OK, Ab Van. Shall you tell 'em or shall I?

Right folks. I've met Ab Van and can tell you she's actually a 7' transvestite with large breasts and a full beard. But it suits her.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Oh Debi! You had to let the secret out! But if anyone wants to know,that beard is really ticklish!

ROTFLMOA!!!

DBA Lehane said...

I look like me...allegedly!

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

See, DBA, means you must be a celebrity in your own right!

DBA Lehane said...

Ahem...I did once appear on a TV quiz in the 90s and dated a minor celeb once...does that count?

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Evidently it does - something must have rubbed off :-)